


The Bear and The Hound

by CharalampidisGruber



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Cheese, Cheesy af romance, F/M, Falling In Love, First Meetings, First Time, Jon is his squire, Romantic Comedy, Sandor is a knight, Self-Insert, the wine hole told me to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 13:39:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharalampidisGruber/pseuds/CharalampidisGruber
Summary: Sandor Clegane is a knight and Jon Snow is his squire. As they prepare for a tourney, a noblewoman stumbles into their tent---literally---and a chain of events unfolds that will change their lives forever.Basically, if GOT was a Disney musical with self-inserts because I'm human garbage.





	1. Tale As Old As Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CBlue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CBlue/gifts).



The Mormont banner was whipping in the wind. The drab shade of green and the faded black bear did not hold up to the other banners that surrounded them. All the houses had brand new colorful flags to fly but House Mormont didn't have the coin or the reputation for a new one. They were also tucked at the farthest end of the Tournament grounds and they could barely see what was going on. Ciana was fixing the braids in little Lyanna's brown hair. The humidity had been cruel to the Northern girls' hair. Cee's hair looked perfectly fine. The red tresses were used to the hot Southern air. Pali was in the same state as her cousin but was too proud to ask for help.

 

Cee was overjoyed to be here. It had been many years since she'd left Bear Island. She liked it there but after so long it almost felt like a prison. It was all grey and cold in the north. So being down here, back in the south, with the sun on her face and hearing the birds singing was wonderful. She was so excited to see all the people and all the knights donning their colors. Maybe she'd be lucky enough to find a knight for herself.

 

The chatter from the crowd was deafening. Pali could barely hear her cousin when she spoke. The heat was slowly driving her mad as well. She was too plump for such weather. Her distant aunt, Lady Maege, had said that was fine. Men liked a large woman for childbearing. And that was exactly why they'd been sent all the way to King's Landing. Jorah's treachery had left the Mormonts in poor standing. They were struggling to restore their honor by any means possible and that meant marrying off disposable Mormont women. 'Find someone to marry down there, Palinorsa, establish a good connection so when Lyanna is grown she can find the Lord she deserves.'

 

If she found a true, proper match, Pali would probably end up marrying a bastard. She didn't possess the holdings or the coin to attract the attention of someone that would help restore House Mormont's honor. But she'd come anyway. What other choice did she have? Lyanna had desperately wanted to go too so they'd brought her along. And of course, Lyanna couldn't leave Bear Island without her precious cat. Ellie was perched regally on the little girl's lap. She purred and flicked her grey tail back and forth.

 

Lyanna started stroking her soft fur. She was being a little too rough and Ellie nipped at her fingers.

 

“Be careful, m'lady,” Cee warned. “We don't want her runnin' off.”

 

“She won't run from me!” Lyanna declared.

 

She squeezed the tabby so tightly it started yowling. Thank the Seven that the crowd was so loud that no one heard.

 

“Little Bear---” Cee pressed.

 

But it was too late. The cat had wriggled out of Lyanna's grasp and sprinted towards the tents. Lyanna started wailing. Pali jumped to her feet.

 

“I'll find her, don't worry!” Pali said.

 

Cee hollered after her but Pali couldn't decipher what she said. Pali held up her pale grey skirt as she ran through the muddy camp. These were the tents where the knights were. She saw different banners and horses adorned in armor. She was afraid to call for the tabby. She really didn't want people to find her creeping around here. That would just be another incident to make the Mormonts look dishonorable. Thankfully, she had a trail of tiny paw prints to follow.

 

She was sweating like a pig as she trudged through the mud. Her face was beet red and her brown hair was starting to spring loose from it's braid. And the blasted sun was taking it's toll on her. She didn't do well in bright light like this. It would make her dizzy and she would find it hard to speak. Her legs were already starting to feel a bit heavy and her cheek was twitching. She would just follow the bloody footprints and drag the sodding cat back. Then she could have a good sit. She'd be fine after a good sit.

 

Except the trail Ellie left was looping back on itself and twisting around the tents. Pali was huffing as she marched on though, her legs started to feel like jelly. Her head was throbbing and she just felt like something was about to happen. She couldn't explain what it just didn't feel right. She thought she'd finally caught sight of the tabby's tail waving through the air. Things seemed a bit too blurry now for her to tell.

 

Pali touched her forehead. It was slick and her head was wobbling from side to side. Her arm started to tremble and her knees quaked. She was face down in the mud shortly after that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jon heard a loud thump outside and furrowed his brow. The Hound had just put his helmet on. The dark snarling dog's head was intimidating. It was a striking sight to see riding around the tourney grounds but he knew Sandor hated it. A black curl fell in Jon's face and he brushed it away. He pulled back the flap of the canvas tent and peeked out.

 

There was a plump woman lying in the mud. She looked like a drunken peasant that had stumbled into the training grounds.

 

“Ser Clegane, there's a woman outside,” Jon stammered.

 

“What in the seven hells?” Sandor snapped. His voice was muffled and sounded slightly demonic with that helmet on.

 

Jon crept out and rolled her over. He immediately dropped her when he saw the pin on her dress. That was the Mormont sigil. She wasn't a peasant. She was a lady in distress.

 

“Ser---it's one of the nobles,” Jon said.

 

Sandor pushed past him. Jon wasn't sure if he was looking down. It was hard to tell with that thing on his head.

 

“Fuck,” Sandor cursed.

 

He scooped her up in his big arms and cradled her.

 

“Go find her companions,” Sandor sighed. “Bring 'em back here. Make it quick, Snow.”

 

Jon stared at him in shock as the giant carried the woman into the tent. He watched Sandor lay her down gently on the bed of straw and slide one of his rolled up shirts beneath her head.

 

“Snow---” Sandor growled.

 

He didn't need to be told twice. The helmet made it look like a rabid dog was about to maul him. He scrambled off. Mormonts. He had to find the Mormont banner. He had no clue where to look. He hadn't even realized they would come. He broke out into a brisk jog. He needed to find them before it was Sandor's time to joust. He didn't want to find out how mad the Hound would be if Jon and this mystery maiden had made him late.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sandor wiped the mud away from the woman's pale face. She had decent features. Skin as pale as freshly fallen snow, so she clearly was a Northerner. She didn't look like a proper lady though. Her hair was a mess and her dress was rather plain. It was so hard to see out of this stupid fucking helmet though. He'd already gone through the pains to put it on so it was staying right where it was. Besides, he doubted she'd want to wake and see his twisted face hovering over her.

 

“Oi,” He said.

 

Her hand twitched a little but she didn't move.

 

“Oi, get up,” Sandor barked, jabbing her with a finger.

 

Her eyes fluttered a bit and she groaned. He tugged on her arms to help her sit up. She was making some really odd noises. Was she drunk? She seemed drunk. He couldn't make out what she was saying at all. She held a hand to her head and moaned.

 

“Ellie?” She croaked.

 

“Who the fuck is Ellie?” Sandor said.

 

The girl wrinkled up her nose and squinted. She kept blinking trying to clear her vision.

 

“A---dog?” She stammered.

 

“Ellie is a dog?” Sandor pressed.

 

“No, you're a dog,” The woman said.

 

“Fer fuck's sake,” Sandor muttered.

 

He hooked his arms under hers and pulled her to her feet. Her cheeks flushed. She was struggling to maintain her balance. Every time she let go of him her legs would shake and she'd start to fall again.

 

“I-I'm sorry, ser,” She said. “I-I had m-myself a f-fit.”

 

“I can see that,” Sandor grumbled.

 

She was holding onto his arms for dear life. He wanted to shake her off. He hated having her hanging off of him like a drunken whore but dropping her didn't seem the right thing to do.

 

“I w-was chasing my cat ye see---” She went on.

 

“---and ye had a fit in the mud,” Sandor finished.

 

“Yes?” She said.

 

Seven hells.

 

“Well, there's no bloody cats in here,” Sandor said.

 

“I know. You're a dog,” She said.

 

Her head was off. Were all Northern women fucked in the head? She shook her head. She seemed to be trying to get herself back together again.

 

“I'm so sorry, ser,” She said. “It's a helmet I see that. I'm just a bit ill---”

 

He sighed. She was lucky she'd stumbled into his tent. If she'd come upon his brother she'd be beaten until she was blue and most likely left in the mud to bleed to death. She finally loosened her grip on him. She started to back away but he kept his arms hovering near her. The last thing he needed was her to take a tumble again and crack her skull.

 

She looked herself over and an expression of horror came across her face. Her jaw hung open and her eyes went wide. He cackled at her. He couldn't help it.

 

“Shut up!” She snapped.

 

“I'm sorry but you look like a wildling that's just crawled through a river of shit,” Sandor said.

 

Her face turned bright red. She opened her mouth to speak and promptly closed it again. She shot him a dirty look.

 

“At least I don't have a stupid helm on my head,” She seethed.

 

He growled. She didn't budge. Normally that got people to skitter off but she just kept glaring at him.

 

“I'm not the one who chose it,” Sandor said. “The stupid Prince makes me wear it.”

 

“Stupid Prince?” She pressed. “Are you trying to get your head lopped off?”

 

“No one is here to hear it so I'm fine. Unless you go running off and wailing to the little bastard,” Sandor said.

 

Again she didn't run. She was mad. She had to be. Where the fuck was Jon? Where was that little bastard fuck to rid him of this nuisance?

 

“I don't wail, ser,” She seethed.

 

“You don't?” Sandor mocked. “Well then tell me yer name. If I find out someone went wailing I need to know who it was so I can gut them like a pig.”

 

She crossed her arms and it pushed up her bosom in a pleasant way. He was glad she couldn't see his actual face right now because he couldn't stop staring at them.

 

“I am Palinorsa of House Mormont,” She said. “And if you gut me like a pig, you'll start a war.”

 

He snorted.

 

“No one gives a shit about House Mormont anymore,” Sandor said.

 

She nodded. “You are not wrong, ser.”

 

“You're a queer one, aren't you?” Sandor said.

 

“I'm still not the one with a fucking dog on my head,” Pali said.

 

“Well you won't have to gawk at it for very long,” Sandor snapped. “I sent my squire to find yer family or yer servants or whoever the fuck you're here with.”

 

She uncrossed her arms and he silently thanked the Seven that he didn't have those fucking tits staring him in the face anymore. He wanted to slap her. Push her back out into the camp so he could be rid of her. But he was still worried a bit. She still had sweat clinging to her forehead. Her chest was still heaving up and down like she was struggling to breathe.

 

“Just---stay here,” Sandor sighed.

 

She seemed surprised.

 

“I'll go find Jon,” Sandor said. “I'll have him bring you some water and then he can help you get back.”

 

Her cheeks flushed but not from the heat this time.

 

“That's kind of you,” Pali stammered.

 

He pushed past her and he could feel those damn grey eyes on him.

 

The one nice thing about this bloody helm is it was good at blocking out the sun. He had to completely turn around to get a good look around the camp though. He found Jon wandering near the edges of the the tents. He was trying to get a look at the stands. There was a match going on. The little twat Loras Tyrell was going against one of the stupid Aryn boys. The crowd was cheering but somehow Robert's booming laugh still drowned the rest of them out.

 

“Snow!” Sandor barked.

 

Jon couldn't hear him. He just stood there like a bloody idiot watching the joust. Sandor growled and marched over to the sod. He grabbed the bastard and whirled him around.

 

“I thought I told you to find the fucking Mormonts!” Sandor growled.

 

“I did!” Jon said. “They're on the other side of the arena. I have to wait until after this match is done.”

 

Sandor cursed under his breath.

 

“Fine, fuck it,” Sandor sighed. “Just get back to the tent and escort her. We don't have time for this shite.”

 

Jon took a deep breath. He was trying to hold his tongue. A bastard speaking out to his knight was not the wisest thing to do. Especially since he was squiring for Sandor Clegane.

 

“Yes, ser,” Jon said. “Right away, ser.”

 

That might've been a bit too bold. He heard the Hound spewing an insult after him. Jon needed to hurry. Sandor would be next. He'd have to get saddled up by himself and get to the arena. He'd already gotten mud all over his boots from running back and forth. A bit more running couldn't make it worse. He hated the squishing sound it made when his boots met with the mud. It was so thick this year and it reeked of horse shit.

 

Jon was huffing and puffing by the time he got back to the tent. At least it would be over soon. He'd escort this lady back to the stands and Sandor would joust. After that they could retreat to the tent and get ready for the feast tonight. After a day like this, Jon was certain he could devour a whole boar by himself. He saw the familiar yellow and black banner atop their humble tent and he sighed with relief.

 

Jon found the poor soiled lady trying to fix her hair. She'd let loose her braid and was combing her fingers through the tangled mess. That grey dress was a lost cause though. He didn't envy her. It was going to embarrassing for her to come marching back to the stands caked in mud with hair looking like a lion's mane. A grey tabby crept between his legs. She arched her back and rubbed along his boots. She let out a pleasant meow and the lady smiled warmly.

 

“Ellie,” She sighed with relief.

 

The cat came trotting up to her and she scooped it up in her arms. The muddy lady now had a muddy cat in her arms. She held up the plump cat to show Jon.

 

“She was the cause of this mess,” Pali sighed. “You can thank her for it.”

 

Ellie was purring proudly as Pali scratched between her ears.

 

“I don't think she sees it as trouble,” Jon chuckled.

 

“Of course not,” Pali said. “To a cat, nothing is their fault.”

 

Jon held back the tent flap and gestured outside. “Ser Clegane has asked me to escort you back to the stands.”

 

She seemed disappointed to hear this but she didn't protest. She held on to the tabby. Clutching it to her chest like a mother carrying a babe. She didn't bother lifting up her skirt to keep it out of the mud. More filth on it wasn't going to make things any worse.

 

They passed by the arena. Sandor was already mounted up. His black steed was kicking at the dirt and bobbing its head. He pulled the steed around and trotted over to them. Jon saw Pali's cheeks flush again. She couldn't be blushing for the Hound. Nobody blushed for the Hound. Sandor ripped his waterskin from his belt and tossed it to Jon.

 

“Give her some fucking water, boy,” Sandor barked.

 

Now Jon had flushed. Ser Clegane did not know how to properly address a lady. It didn't matter that she was from a lesser house, she still deserved some respect. He bit his bottom lip as he led her back to the stands. The Mormont banner was still tattered and flapping in the wind. A fetching redhead was perched beside a little girl. As soon as the girl laid eyes on Pali she erupted with laughter. The redhead tugged on the girl's sleeve and tried to silence her.

 

“That's not nice, Lyanna,” She said.

 

Pali handed Ellie to the girl and smiled.

 

“It's alright. I'd laugh at me too,” Pali said.

 

Jon sheepishly held out the waterskin to her. Pali held it in her hands, drumming her fingers on the surface.

 

Horns sounded and they turned to the arena. Sandor was trotting up with his lance now. Jon furrowed his brow. He should've been there. He was going to hear about this later. It would come in a string of the foulest insults that Sandor could muster but it would be over by the feast's end when the Hound was good and drunk.

 

“Wait,” Pali said.

 

She tore the scarf from around her neck. Speckles of mud clung to it and she was cringing as she held it out.

 

“Quickly,” Pali pressed. “Give it to him. Tell him it's from me.”

 

Jon's eyes widened in shock. No one had ever given Sandor their favor. The horns sounded again and Pali tossed the scarf at him.

 

“Go! Go now!” Pali insisted.

 

Jon fumbled with it and made a break for it. The fetching redhead called after him. “Thank you, good ser!”

 

Her voice sounded just as beautiful as he imagined. He ran up to Sandor, holding the scarf up in the air like a flag. He had to jump up a bit to tie it around his wrist.

 

“What the fuck is this?” Sandor snapped.

 

“From Lady Mormont,” Jon said.

 

Sandor stiffened. He tightened his grip on the reins of his steed. The Hound said nothing as he trotted forward. Jon could hear some of the spectators gasping in shock. It was just a tiny green scarf tied around his wrist but it was a glaring change to the nobles in King's Landing.

 

Pali pulled the cork from the water skin and brought it to her lips. She hesitated before taking a sip. Ser Clegane had been drinking from this. His lips had been on this. Lips that she hadn't seen and had no clue what they looked like but lips that had still touched it. She felt her stomach churning. Why was this troubling her so? She took a swig while Cee oggled her. The governess was bouncing Lyanna in her lap with a cheeky grin.

 

“You gave him your favor?” Cee said.

 

“Yes,” Pali said in a low voice.

 

Cee chuckled. “And his squire?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“That is quite the squire,” Cee said.

 

Pali smirked. “His name is Jon apparently.”

 

Cee nodded with approval. It appeared that the mission Lady Maege had sent them out for might actually be accomplished. Pali hadn't actually seen his face but she had a burning need to now. She took another sip from the waterskin and savored the taste on her tongue.

 

* * *

 

Sandor didn't win the tourney. That was no surprise to him. Gregor won as he always did. But he had food in front of him now and flagon of ale. He was stuck in a corner with Jon, far from the lords and ladies. The tournament winners were seated near the King as tradition dictated. He could see fat King Robert laughing and jesting with the other knights. They feigned laughter and smiled, all except Gregor. He never bothered.

 

The great hall was filled with the scent of roasted pig and wine. Mountains of fresh fruits and vegetables lined the tables. They were overflowing with every conceivable delicacy in the seven kingdoms. Sandor just wanted the ale. He wanted a barrel full of it just for himself. His unkempt black hair fell in his face as he took a swig. The bitter foam clung to his beard but he didn't care to wipe it away. Jon leaned forward and gave him a queer look.

 

“Where's the scarf?” Jon asked.

 

“I didn't win, I don't need to fucking wear it,” Sandor said.

 

In truth he had it stuffed in a pocket. He'd wanted to toss it after the joust but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It smelled of pine needles and the specks of mud reminded him of the Mormont woman standing in front of him with her arms crossed. He had to chug more ale. He needed to forget about her. She hadn't seen his face. As soon as she did, she'd want nothing to do with him.

 

Pali and Lyanna were seated near some of the Cordwayners. None of them had acknowledged her presence yet. She was fine with that. She could barely concentrate on eating. Cee was reminding little Lyanna of the proper etiquette, ensuring that she used the right forks for the proper courses. Pali just sat in her chair, swishing around the wine in her glass. She hated wine. She hated everything about it. She wanted some ale but ladies weren't supposed to drink ale.

 

She kept glancing around the crowded hall, hoping she'd spot him. She had no idea who to look for though. Obviously, no one had come parading into the hall with a giant dog helmet. If she could find the damned squire then she'd be able to find her knight. Finding Jon would make Cee happy too.

 

Cee had taken the time to braid her hair like the true nobles of the North. She'd helped Pali clean up and get into a fresh dress. It still wasn't as pretty as the other dresses she'd seen tonight. These Southern lords all had had their wives and daughters adorned in elaborately beaded and embroidered dresses representing their houses. Cee gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. That warm smile did little to lift her spirits.

 

“It's alright, m'lady,” Cee said. “I'm sure we'll find him.”

 

“I—I hope so,” Pali confessed.

 

Cee giggled. “And you came down here griping about it being a pointless trip. Now you're looking for a knight to take to bed.”

 

Pali's nostrils flared. Lyanna was too happy biting into a fresh apple to have heard that comment, thank the Seven. Cee chuckled.

 

“Tell me it's not true,” Cee teased.

 

Pali gnawed on her bottom lip. She would not say it aloud. She didn't need to. Cee was already well aware.

 

“And maybe I can take home that squire,” Cee said, taking a sip of wine.

 

His inky black curls and sad eyes had won over the governess. Pali didn't even know what her suitor actually looked like. Could she even call him a suitor? He didn't seem to respond to Pali bestowing her favor upon him. Of course, no one gave a shit about a Mormont's favor.

 

There was a great deal of shouting coming from the King's table. The hall started to grow quiet. Pali and Cee had to crane their necks to even get a glimpse of the King. But it was the Prince doing the shouting this time. Joffrey had a wicked grin on his face. His gold rings glimmered in the candlelight. His blonde hair looking almost too sickly a pale shade of blonde.

 

“Come here, dog!” Joffrey called.

 

The hall had fallen completely silent. A man from across the hall stood. He was cast in shadows and Pali could barely make out his silhouette.

 

“Quickly you mongrel!” The Prince snapped.

 

The man made his way around the labyrinth of tables. Now that he had stepped into the light she could get a better look at him. He had a stringy mess of black hair that almost completely covered the left side of his face. She could see the pink, puckered flesh of burn scars beneath his locks. That must be why he wore it like that, to try and hide his disfigurement. He was wearing the same coal black armor that her knight had worn. He was just as tall as him too. She sucked in a breath. He had the most intense brown eyes that she had ever seen. He wasn't even looking her way and Pali still felt like they were fixed on her, peering into her very soul.

 

He knelt before Joffrey. Pali's heart was racing as she watched him.

 

“Some fool granted you her favor today, Hound,” Joffrey spat. “She must've been blind to bestow it upon you.”

 

Some of the nobles whispered amongst themselves. Pali stiffened when she heard some of the cruel remarks.

 

“She must be in this room,” Joffrey said gesturing around the hall. “But I doubt she'll reveal herself. Who would want to admit they'd given a monster their favor?”

 

Pali felt tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“So who is it, dog?” Joffrey hissed. “Who played this cruel joke on you?”

 

Pali got to her feet. She didn't think it through. It might've been stupid but her heart told her too. She could not fight it. All the faces turned on her and she gulped.

 

“I d-did, your grace,” Pali stammered.

 

Sandor looked to her. Her heart ached for him. This was so cruel. His face did not make him a monster. Maybe all the cursing and insults did but she found them charming. Her legs were quaking. Every damned soul in the hall was staring at her.

 

“And it w-was not a joke, your grace,” Pali said.

 

A wave of whispers erupted around her. Pali's eyes darted back to Cee. She gave Pali a nod. It was the little bit of encouragement that she needed.

 

“If it's not a joke, then dance with your beast,” Joffrey said. “Go on. Have a dance for us.”

 

He snickered. That slimy smile plastered to his face. She hated it. She hated what he was doing to her knight. Pali was terrified to dance in front of all these people. Just a Mormont girl in a plain dress who wasn't even certain she knew how to dance properly. But she could not back down. She refused.

 

Pali lifted up her skirt so she wouldn't trip. She made her way around the table. All she could hear was the sound of her footfalls on the marble floors. She was shaking like a leaf. Surely they all could see that. She kept her gaze locked onto Clegane. As long as she looked at him she could survive this. The Hound rose to his feet. Her cheeks were flushed with heat. He was so bloody tall and rugged. She walked up to him and did the best curtsy she could. It wasn't a proper one.

 

“Hello, again,” she whispered.

 

She looked up into those brown eyes and she thought her knees were going to give out.

 

“Well get on with it!” Joffrey snarled. “Play for them, you pisspots.”

 

The players hastily took up the their instruments and began to play. Pali and Sandor were just standing there like idiots staring at each other.

 

“I have no fucking clue what I'm doing,” Sandor said through clenched teeth.

 

Pali took him by the hand. “Neither do I,” she whispered.

 

He put his hand on her hip and his touch felt electric. It made heart flutter and she had to take a deep breath. She just had to keep looking into those eyes. She had to pretend no one else was there. She tried to remember how Cee looked when she taught Lyanna how to dance. She swayed with the music. Sandor was stiff and awkward. He was too muscular for her to take the lead so she just had to roll with it. He was cringing as he took her around the dance floor. He kept looking at his feet so he wouldn't trample hers.

 

She leaned in closer and she heard some muffled gasps from the crowd.

 

“Stop looking at your fucking feet,” She whispered.

 

“I thought you didn't know what you were doing,” Sandor said softly.

 

“Well, I know you're not supposed to stare at your fucking feet,” Pali said.

 

It was a mistake to tell him that. Now he was looking her in the eye and she couldn't handle it. He gave her goosebumps and she felt a warmness growing betwixt her legs. She felt herself relaxing now in his arms. It might be all in her head but she thought he was too. The players were bringing their song to an end. The pace began to slow. His hand was resting in the small of her back when the song came to an end. She didn't dare move. She didn't want to move. She couldn't look away either and it wasn't because everyone was staring at them.

 

“Well---” Joffrey sighed with disappointment. “Begone with you.”

 

He waved them away.

 

“Congratulations, you won't have your head lopped off today,” Sandor whispered.

 

The crowd went back to chattering away as the music began again. She kept a firm grip on his hand as he stormed away. She could barely keep up with him. Pali looked over her shoulder and gestured to Cee. The red head nodded with a devilish grin. She scooped up the Little Bear and carried her towards them. Sandor dragged her over to where he was sitting in the dark.

 

Jon was still firmly planted in his seat. Eyes wide with shock. Cee came scampering up behind them with a bright smile. There was a twinkle in her eye too. Sandor looked Jon up and down and growled.

 

“Move, Snow,” Sandor said.

 

Jon just stared at him.

 

“Move, you cunt!” Sandor growled.

 

Cee held out her hand to the squire.

 

“Come with me, good ser,” Cee chimed. “You can sit with me and Lady Lyanna.”

 

She took Jon by the hand and led him away. Cee looked very pleased to have the squire to herself. Pali lost sight of them as they headed back to their table.

 

Sandor cleared his throat. He yanked back Jon's chair and gestured to it. Pali took a seat and tried to smooth out her dress. She stared at the half eaten food on the plate before her and the cup of ale. She wasn't exactly hungry anymore. The other knights were gawking at them and Sandor slammed his fist on the table.

 

“Fuck off,” he growled.

 

Pali chuckled. She took in a deep breath. The thrill of it all had been paralyzing. Now that she was sitting beside him it finally had started to sink in. Sandor leaned over. He looked her up and down, confirming that this was in fact the same wild woman that he had rescued earlier that day.

 

“Why the fuck did you do that?” Sandor asked.

 

His tone was quite aggressive. It seemed he didn't believe her words to be true.

 

“Because I wanted to,” Pali snapped. “Is that too difficult of a concept for you to grasp?”

 

It looked like she was trying to stare him down but it was quite the opposite. She was enchanted by those eyes. The lines of his face were quite pleasant and she liked a man with a beard.

 

“Why do you keep staring?” Sandor pressed. “Are you disappointed?”

 

Pali shook her head. Her heart was pounding. Her mouth felt as dry as the deserts of Dorne.

 

“I'm not disappointed,” Pali squeaked.

 

She was about to make a most unladylike proposition.

 

“I hate feasts,” Pali said.

 

She leaned in closer and Sandor recoiled. She yanked on his sleeve and pulled him back in her direction.

 

“I said I hate feasts,” Pali said. “So, lets go back to your tent.”

 

He was just glaring at her. It looked like he wanted to slit her throat.

 

“That's not honorable,” Sandor said. “A lady like you deserves to be treated properly.”

 

“I'm sorry?” Pali asked.

 

He hunched over so he was on her level. She could smell the ale on his breath now. It was killing her.

 

“It's not honorable to take a noble cunt back to a tent and fuck her,” Sandor said.

 

“Then what exactly would make that honorable?” Pali asked.

 

Sandor leaned back and shook his head.

 

“You're not really willing to do that,” Sandor said.

 

He brought his cup of ale to his lips and took a swig.

 

“What? You won't fuck me until we're married?” Pali asked. “Fine, marry me.”

 

Sandor spit his beer across the table. He slowly turned to face her, foam dripping down his chin.

 

“We just fucking met,” Sandor said.

 

“I know,” Pali said. “But does it matter? Most of the Lords sitting around here got married on the day they met their betrothed. And they all probably hate each other. I don't hate you. I quite like you.”

 

He furrowed his brow. Sandor looked a bit panicked. Had Jon slipped something in his drink? Was this just a drunken fantasy? She smiled at him. Her eyes twinkled in the candlelight.

 

“We'll sneak off to a Sept,” Pali said. “And then you can bend me over a bed until the sun comes up.”

 

“You're mad,” Sandor said. “But---”

 

He liked her sharp tongue. He respected her for standing up before that twat Joffrey. That took balls. Big balls of Valyrian fucking steel.

 

“Fuck it,” Sandor said. He slurped down the last of his ale and slammed the mug on the table.

 

She was beaming. She squeezed his hand more tightly than anyone had ever before.

 

 

 


	2. Love Is An Open Door

The room in the inn smelt like piss and stale shit. The only light they had was a flickering candle, it was half melted and sagging to one side. Pali carefully laid out the crisp piece of parchment on the table. It was the only evidence of what had just occurred. Cee was going to be furious. Pali was a bit mad at herself. This had all been so hurried, so crazed and unlike her but something she couldn't explain had driven her to it. She kept staring at the hastily forged letters scrawled across it. The poor young Septon who had written it out had never done one before. He was even more terrified at who he had just united in marriage. 'Palinorsa of House Mormont shall be Palinorsa of House Clegane, wife of Ser Sandor Clegane, from this moment forth until death reunites them with the Seven.'

 

Cee was definitely going to attempt a murder when she found out Pali had run off with her knight and eloped. All in one day too. Sandor was yanking off his boots. He'd already torn off his tunic and tossed it to the dusty floor. Pali was still in her plain dress but her hair had started to spring loose from its braid. She watched him strip off his armor with great anticipation. She wanted to see his body so desperately. It had been a while since she'd been bedded so she was craving it like a mare in heat. But his pace was so agonizingly slow.

 

She started to unlace the front of her dress. She exposed the creamy flesh of her neck. Sandor averted his gaze. Did he not like what he saw? She fretted now. Pali looked down at the swell of her breasts, worried that there was something wrong. They looked alright. She always thought they looked better in a bodice like this. She caught Sandor staring at them now and she smiled. She watched him intently. Expecting him to disrobe but he just sat there.

 

One of the most important things about a marriage was the consummation. And it was most important for that to take place the first night. There were some more absurd traditions that went along with that but she was glad they wouldn't have to partake in that. She really wasn't keen on having her relatives carry her off to a bedchamber and stripping her down. By the look on Sandor's face, she assumed he felt the same way.

 

“What is it?” Pali asked.

 

He stared down at his feet. He mumbled something but she couldn't make out the words.

 

“Speak up,” Pali said. “Stop grumbling like a babe.”

 

“I---” Sandor trailed off. He cursed under his breath and shook his head.

 

“What?” Pali pressed. She tugged her dress over her bare chest. “Am I too fat?”

 

She was very insecure about that. She couldn't believe she was bringing this up with him already.

 

“No!” Sandor barked. “I've always wanted a woman that had actual fucking tits. Not like these little tarts walking around with bug bites under their dresses.”

 

Pali's cheeks flushed. She felt like her innards were made of jelly. Her heart fluttered. Lady Maege had always been kind to her but the other men on Bear Island had been cruel to her, especially when she was a child. She never thought a man would truly want someone like her.

 

But Sandor was still fretting. He was staring at the palms of his hands. He looked angry as if he was ready to snap someone's neck.

 

“I've never done it before,” Sandor confessed.

 

“Oh,” Pali said.

 

She pondered on it for a bit. She was desperate to have him but from the way Joffrey had insulted him and the way the lords and ladies whispered insults it made sense. It was a horrible truth that made her heart sink. His face had turned a deep shade of scarlet. He still couldn't muster up the strength to look her in the eye.

 

Pali crept over to the bed. Her footfalls were delicate like a doe striding through the forest. She sat beside him. She didn't regret marrying him but she worried now that she'd put too much pressure on him. She wanted to reach out and stroke his cheek and shower him with kisses but she feared it would be too much.

 

“It's alright,” Pali said. “We can wait---”

 

“No,” Sandor growled. “I don't want to fucking wait.”

 

By the Seven, his voice was so arousing when he snapped like that. He had her so flustered that she could barely think.

 

“Well---a kiss is always a good start,” Pali said.

 

She brushed aside his wild hair so she could gaze into those intense eyes. They'd kissed in the Sept. This wasn't much different. And nobody was watching them now. She leaned in. She could feel the warmth of his breath on the soft, pink flesh of her lips.

 

“May I?” She cooed.

 

He nodded. He'd looked so fearsome earlier. He could kill a man just with that glare of his but now he looked like a frightened young man. Wide-eyed with a storm of fear and excitement that was overwhelming him.

 

She pressed her lips to his. His beard scratching against her skin in the most delightful way. At first, he was stiff and awkward. She ran her hands over his umber locks and felt him relax to her touch. Did she dare to slip her tongue between those lips? She felt his hand grasping at her wrist. He slid it up the length of her arm but hesitated. She smirked.

 

Pali snatched up his hand and planted it on one of her breasts. That was exactly what he'd needed. He parted his lips and she finally got a proper taste of him. She could still detect the faint bitterness of the ale he'd had at the feast. At first, he was cautious but she felt his tongue slip between her lips and she couldn't help but let out a muffled moan. It was so tortuous but she wanted to go at his pace. She was bracing herself to stop at any moment.

 

Those large hands roved over her shoulders, sliding down her scratchy gown. He nuzzled his face into the base of her neck. The blessed feeling of his lips brushing against her skin gave her goosebumps. She reached beneath the coarse fabric of his shirt, her fingers exploring the expanse of his chest. He took in a shaky breath as she reached beneath his belt. It was even more apparent now that he was a virgin. He'd gotten hard so quickly. All it had taken was a shared kiss.

 

Sandor still looked frightened as she wriggled out of her dress. His broad chest heaved up and down as he took in nervous breaths. She laid down on the bed. She could finally get a proper look at him now. He was so well proportioned like a finely constructed sculpture from the royal gardens. She beckoned him closer with her finger. She felt like a spider reeling in its prey on a silken thread.

 

“Do you know where to put it?” She teased.

 

“Of course, I do,” Sandor growled. “I'm not that fucking stupid.”

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for another kiss. She gingerly sucked on his bottom lip, teasing him closer and closer. Pali spread her thighs, wrapping her legs around his waist to draw him in. She grasped onto his cock. It was thick and rigid. She gulped in anticipation. She guided him in. He had barely entered her and she was already biting her bottom lip.

 

“Fuck,” Sandor said breathlessly.

 

She giggled. He was trembling in her arms. He hadn't even begun to grind his hips yet. She waited. It was a struggle to stay patient with him but she had to. She wouldn't allow this moment to be ruined for him. She had to be gentle with him. She had to make up for how horribly cruel the world had been to him.

 

Pali started to buck her hips, slowly and tenderly. Even such a subtle motion made a gasp escape from her own lips. He was so shy with his thrusts. Did he fear he would hurt her? Poor Clegane, he had no idea how experienced she was. She drew closer to him. It was taking all her strength to restrain herself. Her breath was shuddering near his ear. She could feel his hair was slick with sweat and it tickled the tip of her nose.

 

“I'm honored to be your first lady,” Pali whispered. “And I will die a happy woman to be yours always.”

 

He kissed her. It was so sloppy that he barely managed to find her lips. He was already growing so desperate, quickening his pace. She wanted him to fuck her raw. She didn't want to be able to walk in the morning. She dug her nails into his back. That throbbing heat between her legs had her mewling and whimpered. She was losing control. She bucked her hips faster and faster.

 

Sandor gripped onto the headboard as he tried to keep pace with her.

 

“Damn it, mad woman!” He growled. “Fine, fuck it, so much for bloody romance!”

 

He dove deep and she let out a cry. He was railing her like she was the cheapest whore in a brothel. She didn't care if the whole bloody inn heard them now. He clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her cries. She could barely stand it. Her eyes were rolling back and she felt like her belly was on fire. She clawed at his shoulders like an animal, her hips bucking like she was having a fit. She whimpered into his hand. Her walls clamped down, pulsing wildly as she felt a wave of pleasure wash over. His eyes widened and he cursed. She felt his hot seed rushing into her and she grabbed him by the hair. She pulled him in for a desperate hungry kiss.

 

 

He collapsed on her. His weight was so immense that she could barely breathe. She fell into a fit of laughter. Pali wrapped her arms around Sandor, gasping desperately to catch her breath. Every inch of her body was still tingling. All the other women in the Seven Kingdoms were idiots. They'd missed out. He was a novice and still had given her the best fuck she'd ever experienced.

 

“Are you willing to endure this for the rest of your life, my dear Ser Clegane?” Pali asked breathlessly.

 

The way he looked at her made her heart melt. There was such a soft, sincere twinkle in those brown eyes. This morning he'd just been a mysterious creature with the cold metal face of a hound. Now he was a man, engulfing her in his embrace, never to let her go again.

 

“Is it possible to fall in love in just a day?” Pali asked.

 

“Apparently so, you mad cunt,” Sandor said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Cee had been waiting by the doors to the great hall. Lyanna was starting to doze as she clung to the governess's hand. She was starting to worry. Cee hadn't seen any sign of Pali. Jon was standing by her side as they watched the nobles trail out of the hall, stumbling and drunk. The squire looked permanently worried so she wasn't able to properly gauge just how concerned he was. He'd been able to carry on a good conversation at the feast but even then his thick brow was furrowed and his eyes seemed a little sad. It was terribly charming though.

 

He was very pretty. There was no other word suited for him. He had luscious locks of curly black hair and just the perfect amount of scruff on his pale face. Jon looked to her and Cee pretended to tuck a stray lock of her red hair to try and hide her blushing.

 

“I don't think they're coming,” Jon said.

 

“I'm tired!” Lyanna whined, tugging on Cee's skirt.

 

“I'm sorry, m'lady,” Cee cooed. “We're just looking for your cousin.”

 

Lyanna just let out a sigh. Jon knelt down and took the Little Bear by the hand.

 

“Don't worry, we'll find them soon enough and you can curl up to sleep with yer cat,” Jon assured.

 

That made Cee smile. She was quite surprised to see how well he handled such a young thing. Lyanna pouted.

 

“You said that you don't think they're coming,” Lyanna said. “So why wait? My cousin can find her way back on her own.”

 

Cee wasn't so certain of that. Prince Joffrey seemed quite cross that he'd failed to humiliate Pali and the Hound. Her mind wandered to the worst places. What if the guards had stolen them away from the feast and thrown them in a cell? What if the Prince had already had them beheaded? Cee swallowed hard. Jon must have sensed her rising panic because he gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder.

 

“Let's just take a look outside,” Jon said. “Maybe they stepped out to get some fresh air?”

 

“Fine,” Lyanna relented. “But I want to be carried. I'm too tired.”

 

“Of course, m'lady,” Jon said.

 

He scooped her up in his arms. She might be a little too old for this soon. But the wee bear was still such a tiny thing. Lyanna held her head up high, acting as if she was atop a regal steed in a parade. They made their way out of the hall first and into the courtyard. Cee didn't catch a glimpse of any towering knights standing with plump maidens in the shadows. In fact, she didn't see anyone. She certainly didn't think they were fool enough to go hide somewhere in the keep.

 

So they ventured farther. Slowly creeping further and further from the keep. Cee's heart was racing. Where had they gone? She'd been worried about something happening to Lyanna on this trip but not Pali. The Little Bear was safely curled up in Jon's arms dozing and for all Cee knew, Pali could be down a dark alley with her throat split open in a pool of her own blood. She kneaded her hands together. She was trying to figure out where they possibly could've gone but her mind kept drawing a blank. Disappearing like this, it was just not in Pali's nature.

 

“Pali seems the sort to be able to take care of herself,” Jon said. “I'm sure she's in good health.”

 

Cee nodded.

 

“She is sharp of tongue and has a strong resolve but---” Cee said. “Physically she is lacking.”

 

“Well she doesn't need to be with the Hound around,” Jon said. “He'll keep an eye on her. I know it seems like he isn't the sort but he really is. I wouldn't be squiring for him if he were the dishonorable sort.”

 

Jon chuckled.

 

“Actually, I'm a bastard so I don't really get the choice,” Jon confessed.

 

“I'm a bastard too,” Cee said.

 

It would be a queer thing to tell him that she was pleased to hear Jon was a bastard. She was though. No one truly understood what that felt like until they'd walked that path.

 

“So how is it that you came to serve the Mormonts?” Jon asked.

 

“Luck,” Cee said.

 

It was a bit of luck and her parenting. She'd been blessed enough to be tutored so she knew her numbers letters.

 

The night air was much colder than Cee had expected. She knew it was unwise to be wandering around King's Landing in the dark too but she felt safe. Something about Jon was quite reassuring. If he wasn't with her, Cee was certain she'd be lost by now. The narrow cobblestone streets were like a maze. All of the buildings looked the same in the dark too. They all possessed the same silhouettes against the deep blue starry sky.

 

“I hope you know how to get back to the keep,” Cee said.

 

“I know where we are,” Jon assured.

 

He looked around then stopped in his tracks. His eyes darted all over the street. He started to cringe. Jon looked down at the sleeping little lady in his arms and then back up at Cee.

 

“I don't know where we are,” Jon confessed.

 

“What?”Cee hissed.

 

She started for him.

 

“You have the heir to House Mormont in your arms, ser,” Cee seethed. “And you're lost---in the middle of the night---in King's Landing.”

 

Cee clenched her fist. He was pretty. He was kind but he was not a good navigator and she was furious. She had thought the situation bad but now it had gotten horrendously worse.

 

“Don't panic!” Jon pressed. “Just let me find a landmark or something!”

 

She took a deep breath. For some reason she trusted him. It was probably those beautiful puppy dog eyes he had. He chewed on his bottom lip as he looked around.

 

Jon gestured his head to the horizon, “There. That's the bell tower of the Sept.”

 

Cee turned around. She had to stand on her tip toes and squint but she could just make out the grand tower on the horizon.

 

“I can get us back from there,” Jon said. “And I mean it this time.”

 

“I believe you,” Cee said.

 

This pleased him quite a bit. His smile was too much for her to linger on though. It made her heart flutter. She could not allow him to distract her right now. She needed to get Lyanna somewhere safe and warm. And they still had to find Pali.

 

She let Jon lead the way, thinking it might be easier to stay focused if she couldn't see his face. It was a mistake. His rump was even more pleasant than his face and she couldn't stop staring at it. Now and then, the squire would pause to make sure he still had the bell tower in sight. When he crept down narrow alleys, Jon took great care to hold Lady Lyanna close to him. It was rather sweet. He was doing his best to keep her safe and cozy. He barely knew the two of them and he was going out of his way to help them.

 

She followed him closely. She feared what scoundrels hid in the shadows and being near to him alleviated those anxieties immensely. They came upon a wide street. It was a main road. It was much better maintained than the other streets they'd been walking down. The Sept took her breath away. It was so much grander up close. Even in the dark she could see the beautiful, intricate carvings that weaved around the arches and climbed up the tower. The very tips of the spire seemed to be kissing the stars.

 

They stood before the grand wooden doors to the Sept. They were as tall as three grown men stacked atop each other.

 

“Maybe we should go inside and ask if they've seen anyone,” Jon said. “Usually there's a Septon around, even at this hour of the night.”

 

It was worth a shot. Cee grabbed the massive iron knocker. It was so loud as it smacked against the wood that it made her cringe. For a while, there was no response. The wait was agonizing. She wanted Jon to be right. A much smaller wooden door creaked open. A scrawny young Septon peered out. There were dark circles under his eyes and he looked as if he'd just rolled out of bed.

 

“You're not more elopers I hope,” The Septon croaked.

 

“Elopers?” Cee asked.

 

Her heart skipped a beat.

 

“Who came here and got eloped?” Cee snapped.

 

Lyanna stirred in Jon's arms. She rubbed at her eyes and looked them over.

 

“I said who got eloped!?” Cee pressed.

 

The Septon recoiled a bit before he spoke. “The bloody Hound and some Mormont.”

 

Cee's jaw dropped. Eloped? Pali had wed without her present? Cee felt her very soul slip from her body.

 

“Eloped?” Jon said.

 

“Yes, eloped,” The Septon sighed. “Must I say it again?”

 

“I don't care,” Lyanna sighed. “I'm tired and I want Ellie.”

 

Cee shook her head. Her nostrils flared as she turned on them.

 

“We will go to bed later,” Cee seethed.

 

She narrowed her eyes and wagged her finger at the Septon's face.

 

“Where did they go?” Cee pressed. “You must've seen which direction they went!”

 

“They probably went to the same inn all the elopers go to,” The Septon sighed. “It's down the road.”

 

“An inn?” Lyanna yawned. “I can sleep at an inn.”

 

Oh, they were not going to do any sleeping at the inn. There might be a great deal of shouting but no sleeping. Cee started storming down the street before the Septon could get out another word. Jon came after her. Lyanna was bouncing about in his arms and she was not happy about it.

 

“Ciana!” Lyanna cried. “I want to go home! I want to go to bed!”

 

Cee kept marching forward. “We're retrieving your bloody cousin! And then you can toss her in jail for keeping you up!”

 

And for slighting Cee. She considered Pali as a sister. She'd been good to her and Cee had always expected to be there when Pali finally found the right man to marry. But no, Pali had just snuck off in the night with him.

 

“No one's being tossed in a cell,” Jon said. “Just be calm. We can't go storming in there. Sandor won't like that.”

 

Bugger what the Hound wanted. But Jon was right. She needed to put her feelings aside. Going in spitting fire and venom would just make things worse. They came upon an inn. She prayed it was the right one. It was the only one in sight that still had light coming from the windows.

 

“Take a deep breath,” Jon said. “Everything will be okay.”

 

His smile was brighter than the moon up above. She couldn't help but smile back.

 

“Stop swooning over each other and get this over with,” Lyanna snapped.

 

Cee wanted to slap the girl but that wouldn't go over well. She pushed through the door to the inn. The magic of Jon's smile still lingered. She needed to clear those thoughts from her head. It kept fogging things up and mucking up the plans she was trying to make. The innkeeper was fat as an autumn pumpkin. His cheeks were rosy red from years of too much drinking and he barely had a hair on his shiny, bald head.

 

“Two silver fer a room” he sighed.

 

He didn't even look up to acknowledge them.

 

“We don't need a room,” Jon said.

 

He set Lyanna down. She crossed her stubby arms and shot them both a death glare. Jon rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

 

“I was wondering if you had a couple come in? A tall man with a scarred face---”

 

“The Hound?” The innkeeper said.

 

“Yes,” Cee said. She leaned over the counter. She opened her satchel and plopped two gold coins on the surface. The innkeeper smiled and snatched them up with his thick, greasy fingers.

 

“Second floor, last door on the right,” The innkeeper said.

 

Cee had just sacrificed a good hunk of her wages for this. She would have Pali pay that back tenfold for all of this nonsense too.

 

“Thank you, good ser,” Cee said and flashed him a smile.

 

That smile immediately vanished from her face as she turned to Lyanna.

 

“Can you---stay down here with Jon?” Cee pleaded.

 

“Why?” Lyanna asked.

 

“There might be some things that you don't want to see, m'lady,” Jon said.

 

Lyanna wrinkled up her nose. “Fine,” she relented.

 

Cee made her way up the stairs. They groaned and creaked. This place smelled queer. She'd never been in a brothel but she imagined this was what one would smell like. She was formulating what she was going to say as she ascended the stairs. She wanted Pali to know how furious she was but she didn't want to push her away. Jon had said she should try to be calm. Maybe a gentler approach would be best.

 

Cee paused to take a few breaths before she continued. She patted down her skirt and made sure her fiery hair was neat and tidy. She approached the last door on the right, just as the innkeeper had said. Cee knocked politely on the door. There was no response. She knocked again with a little more force this time. She heard muffled voices but no one came to the door. Her patience was worn too thin. Cee pounded on the door and cleared her throat.

 

“Pardon me,” Cee said in a sing-song voice. “But I'm looking for Lady Palinorsa and Ser Sandor Clegane.”

 

“Fuck off.”

 

She immediately recognized the gruff voice. She felt a heat rising within her. She didn't care if he was as tall as a castle and could cut her in half. She'd been running around all night with his very, very pretty squire in search of the two of them and she would not be returning empty-handed.

 

“You fuck off,” Cee said. “Is she in there? We've been looking for you all fucking night!”

 

The door swung open with such force that it slammed against the wall and Cee recoiled.

 

“I said fuck off, you stupid cunt!”

 

Towering over her was the Hound. His lips were drawn back in a sneer and his eyes were full of hatred. His messy hair had fallen in his face and his teeth were bared like a dog ready to rip out her throat. And he was stark fucking naked.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Pali couldn't stand to leave them. Lady Lyanna and Ellie had already been loaded into the carriage. Cee was lingering with that squire, Jon. They were chatting by the road. The wind was rustling the golden grass at their feet. Cee had such a grand smile on her face. It appeared their nighttime adventure had brought them together. Pali hated to see them part ways.

 

The sun was still blazing but Sandor's massive frame was shielding her from its fiery wrath. He wanted her to go back to Bear Island. He told her he'd send a raven when she could come back. Pali wouldn't have it. She couldn't bear it. She wanted to stay by his side. But he kept warning her of his brother. She was fighting back tears. She'd barely had him for a day and she didn't want it to end.

 

“Stop sniveling,” Sandor said. “I'm still yer fuckin' husband. It's just safer fer you up north.”

 

“Fuck the North,” Pali said.

 

She wiped a tear away from her eyes.

 

“Fuck yer brother,” she added.

 

Sandor snorted.

 

“Ye want to try and say that to his face?” Sandor said. “He'll fucking kill you. He might fucking kill me when he finds out what we've done.”

 

“I'll kill him first,” Pali said.

 

“No you fucking can't,” Sandor sighed.

 

She gazed over at Cee and Jon. The governess was red in the face and it looked like she was tearing up too. Jon was patting her shoulder gingerly. They made a fine couple. Did they even get the chance to share a kiss yet?

 

Sandor tilted Pali's chin up. Looking into those eyes was too hard now. Her bottom lip was quivering and she felt so weak. She'd done so many things yesterday that she never thought were in her nature. He'd driven her quite mad but she didn't want to be sane and alone without him.

 

“I just want ye to be safe,” Sandor pleaded. “I don't want him to hurt you.”

 

“And what about you?” Pali pressed. “I don't want you hurt. I just found you.”

 

She wrapped her arms around him. Maybe if she held onto him tight enough he couldn't pry her from him. He was her knight. He was everything to her now.

 

Sandor's heart sank when he heard the thunderous sound of galloping from down the road.

 

“Fuck,” He spat.

 

Was it too late? He hoped it wasn't. He hoped a little bird hadn't whispered in Gregor's ear. But it _was_ too late. He recognized the hulking silhouette of his brother racing down the road. His massive black stallion was neighing in terror. The Mountain had ridden the poor creature to its limit and it was on the verge of collapse.

 

“Get in the fucking carriage!” Sandor bellowed.

 

Pali opened her mouth but he shoved her in before she could protest.

 

“Snow!” Sandor barked. “You get them the fuck out of here or I'll chop off yer pecker.”

 

Sandor unsheathed his sword. He held it at the ready. He could see the sunlight gleaming off his brother's armor as he drew closer. Jon seized his maiden by the wrist and sprinted towards the carriage.

 

This was just typical fucking luck for Sandor. As soon as he finds a woman he can actually tolerate, Gregor has to come riding up to cut him down. Pali was shouting and cursing like a mad woman. She kept trying to force open the door but he kept his weight firmly pressed up against it. He was going to wait until the last bloody minute. He rather let Gregor cut him down than get to her.

 

His brother was not slowing. He could see the horrified glint in the eyes of the stallion as it came for him. It would be upon him soon. He finally drew his hand away and gripped onto the pommel of his blade. It was a mistake. Pali came tumbling out of the carriage. She lept for him and shoved him to the ground just as Gregor ran past. The tip of his brother's greatsword grazed his cheek and a fresh drop of hot blood trickled down his flesh.

 

Gregor brought his steed around. Its hoofs kicked up a cloud of dust as he came racing back. Pali scrambled to her feet. Sandor snatched the hem of her dress and yanked her back down.

 

“You dumb cunt!” He snarled. “What're ye fucking doing!?”

 

Gregor came thundering by and swung his sword again. Sandor held up his blade just in time. The force with which Gregor struck him sent a jolt of pain shooting up his arm. It took all of his strength to hold him back. The Mountain lept from his horse. His immense weight made the ground quake when his feet met the earth.

 

“Get in the bloody carriage,” Sandor hissed.

 

“No,” Pali said. “If you're to die on this day, then I shall too.”

 

Pretty words for such an idiotic notion. Sandor cursed under his breath. Fine, they were to die together. He'd gotten one night of happiness and his price was death. He'd be sure to fuck up his brother first. He wanted to leave him with a nice set of scars before he departed from this world.

 

“Enough!” Lyanna roared.

 

Everyone froze. The Little Bear was hanging out the window of the carriage. Ellie's little nose was peeking over the edge, ears twitching curiously.

 

“Ser Gregor!” Lyanna declared. “If you so much as lay a finger on my cousin and her husband, you will have the entire wrath of House Mormont come down upon you!”

 

Pali and Sandor exchanged a look of shock. The Mountain kept his massive blade in the air. Holding it up, ready to bring it crashing down on Sandor's head. His brother was dense but was he stupid enough to start a war over this? Pali pushed her way past Sandor. He reached for her and she slapped his hand away.

 

“Did you hear that you cock sucker?” Pali spat. “Are you willing to piss off your king just because yer little brother got himself a piece of arse?”

 

Her eyes were wild and full of rage.

 

“The Mormonts are sworn allies of the Starks too. They'll come to our aid if we ask for it,” Pali said.

 

She was bluffing. Sandor didn't think the Starks would come stampeding for Clegane Keep just because he'd slipped his cock in the bear woman's cunt.

 

The Mountain lower his sword. Apparently, his brother was dumb enough to believe it. Cee stepped out of the carriage. Jon was by her side, still gripping onto his sword so tightly that his knuckles were turning white.

 

“Bugger off!” Cee snapped. “You know those two idiots aren't a threat to your claim!”

 

Idiots? That was a ballsy thing for a bastard to say. It was enough for Gregor though. Sandor watched in disbelief as he sheathed his sword and climbed atop his hellish stallion. They watched a cloud of dust engulf the monster as he rode back down the road. It seemed as if time had stopped. The sun hung on the horizon as the dust slowly settled down. The thunderous sound of Gregor's departure slowly faded away.

 

Pali clung at her breast as she caught her breath. That was the stupidest thing she'd ever done. Cee burst out laughing. She had nearly soiled her clothes when she'd addressed Sandor's brother but it had worked. If the Little Bear hadn't made that threat they would likely be a pile of flesh rotting in the tall grass right now. Pali felt faint. Sandor grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him. He wouldn't let her fall not after all of this.

 

“He's gone,” Pali gasped. “He just left. He just fucking left. What a coward.”

 

She started to giggle. The giggles bubbled up from her heart and slowly turned into hearty laughter. She clung to her knight. She was so happy that she wanted to tumble with him right here in the middle of this bloody road.

 

“You'll never be rid of me now!” Pali declared. “You've no need to send me away.”

 

“Fuck that,” Sandor said. “Fuck the South. He'll come back. He'll find another way.”

 

He looked down at her. She was still red in the face. Her hair was a mess and those splendid tits were rising and falling as she caught her breath.

 

“I'm coming with you,” Sandor said. “I rather freeze my fucking balls off than deal with him anymore.”

 

She lept into his arms. Sandor hefted her up as she clung to his neck. He was carrying her back to that carriage like a fucking idiot from one of the old tales. Pali pressed her lips to his. She poured every ounce of love she had for him into that kiss. And it was all of her being. She would give it all to him for the rest of her days and he would share it with her as long as the sun rose in the East.

 

 


End file.
